“we could feel myself gravitating toward girls in many ways that i did son’t with males. “

Regardless how you identify—whether it is as lesbian, bisexual, asexual, another term, or nothing at all—how you decide to label your self just isn’t according to a list. Sex is really a range, and there’s a lot of grey area on that relative line in terms of gender and choices. Therefore become clear: There’s no way that is tell-all would figure out if you’re homosexual (or other things).

But by meaning, to determine as homosexual, it might signify you perhaps feel sexual and/or romantic attraction to somebody of one’s gender that is same identity states LGBTQ+ specialist Kryss Shane. “Sometimes it is a general understanding; in other cases it is self-recognition from a same-sex relationship that starts to feel just like one thing more, and quite often it is through sexual research, ” Shane explains.

But, simply because many people encounter an “aha” minute does not always mean you are going to too, and that is completely normal. When you are gay—while, again, there’s no definitive way to know—it might be helpful to read these 14 women’s stories on the moment they knew that they were if you find yourself questioning.

1. “I’ve always kind of known but it was kept by me in because i did son’t think my children could be supportive. Then again in senior high school, this girl was met by me so we began secretly dating. From then on, there clearly was no heading back, and I also ultimately arrived. Being along with her had been worth the scariness of being released to my moms and dads. ” —Andrea, 19

2. “I’d say throughout my entire life, I experienced an idea at the back of my mind. But up to the termination of senior high school, I happened to be constantly enthusiastic about guys—and also dated some guy my senior 12 months. We told every person I happened to be most likely likely to marry him in which he ended up being completely the main one. Toward the final end, we finished up drunk setting up with a lady buddy we probably constantly possessed something for. Then that kept taking place. ” —Nicole, 21

3. “I went into foster care at age 16 with no knowledge of exactly just what being meant that is gay. During my very first team house, a lady kept flirting I didn’t even know how to interact with the opposite sex, let alone the same sex with me and. Therefore a month or two later on, I happened to be on Twitter finding out more about just exactly exactly what it supposed to be LGBTQ+. By the time we completed reading an articles that are few i simply knew this really is who I became. ” —Chaya Milchtein, 24

4. That I was gay when I was 10“ I first realized. My baby-sitter handed me a large field of Star Wars action numbers and being the marriage-obsessed son or daughter I happened to be, we begun to set them off into partners (one male doll with one feminine doll). By the time I happened to be in the bottom associated with field, we went away from male action numbers and ended up being kept with two gorgeous female that is blue. They were picked by me up, endured them side-by-side on the windowsill, and one simply clicked. It absolutely was ab muscles very first time We ever also considered the likelihood of two girls being together, however it made perfect sense if you ask me sitting there taking a look at these action figures part by part! ” —Stacy Carter, 27

5. “One evening, I experienced been out belated with work buddies sex chatrooms and three of us wound up in a man friend’s bed. We had been all spooning as he passed down, additionally the girl in the front of me personally turned around to manage me personally. Right even as we kissed, we knew there is no heading back. ” —Beck Power, 35

6. “I happened to be 31 and a mother that is single of 1-year-old your day we noticed I happened to be in deep love with my coworker. She and I also was in fact inseparable for longer than couple of years. I missed her terribly, and when it ended, I was the first person she called when she left for a weeklong solo retreat. I came across myself bouncing across the room, overjoyed to know from her. I stopped dead in my tracks when I hung up. I really could observe that I became for the reason that minute, the embodiment that is very of chick flick heroine who’d ever experienced love. I became in love. With a lady. ” —Kristen Smith, 35